Gallery
by EdwardMasen-luver-4ever
Summary: They say that unrequited love is the hardest, that loving someone who doesn't love you back could lead you into the deepest, darkest depression... Or maybe its not that bad, either way, Edward Cullen should know. AH, R&R.
1. Prolouge

**Gallery**

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight goes for the whole story.**

* * *

God broke the mold,  
When he made this one I know  
She's breathtaking but so much more  
She walks in the room, your lungs close  
Making you never want to breathe again  
Her boyfriend has got so much dough  
So much ice his neck and wrist froze  
Is he faithful to her? Hell no  
But she chose to be with him, shorty

Tell me is the money worth your soul?  
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on  
When you know that dude has a whole wall of 'em just like you?  
And girl you're just way too fine  
Gotta be treated as one of a kind  
Girl use your mind  
Don't be just another dime

Because

I can't take  
Seeing you with him  
'Cause I know exactly what you'll be,  
In his gallery  
Just not fair  
And it's tearing me apart  
You're just another priceless work of art  
In his gallery

– Gallery, Mario Vazquez

* * *

_Edward's POV (1__st__ Grade 10 year ago.):_

_I was sitting at a table all alone reading a book something that most 7 year olds don't know what to do. But we all know that I am not like most paste eating, tantrum throwing, and bed wetting toddlers in this school, no they have nothing on me. _

_By the way I am Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, I am 7 years old and I go to Forks Elementary school where we have a new student coming in and all I know is that she is a girl and I am also like none of the other 7 year old boys that are convinced that girls have cooties. Anyway back to me I live in Forks, Washington where they have a population of 3,120 people which makes it really easy to know everybody here._

"_Kids we have a new student here today," Mrs. Kendall said from the front of the room, I turned around in my seat and saw the most beautiful girl in whole wide world. _

_She had long wavy brown hair that reached her waist, she also had the most beautiful brown eyes that complimented her hair nicely, she was wearing a nice dress that reached just on top of her knees, she also had really pale skin that looked like silk and I'm pretty sure It felt like silk too._

_She is so beautiful. I thought to myself, I was so absorbed in my thoughts about this girl that I didn't hear the teacher say her name and to go 'take a seat at Edward table'._

_Oh my gosh she's coming over here, oh my gosh is my hair ok how……_

"_Hi, your Edward Cullen right?" she asked me, She had a voice like bells, I couldn't find the voice to answer so I nodded my head dumbly, she laughed a little her laugh was so hypnotizing, "Well I'm Isabella Marie Swan, I'm your neighbor, but you could call me Bella," Bella a beautiful name for a beautiful girl._

"_Nice to meet you, I guess you already k-k-know my n-n-name" I stuttered, I don't know why but I was lost in her eyes, I know that sounds corny but I was, Her eyes were endless, like you look at them all day and you would never find the ends of them. _

_Her cheeks filled up with red which looked so beautiful._

That was ten years ago now I'm 17 and Bella is 16 we've became best friends since then and I am still in love with her and she still doesn't know, she still lives next door to me and her window is right across from mine so we could always see into each other's rooms and were ok with that.

But what I'm not ok with is that I'm in love with her and that she is head over heels in love with the schools biggest and richest player Jacob Black, Honestly i don't know what she sees in him but there is nothing I could do about it even though he's been cheating on her since the first day they've been going out and that was 4 years ago. But one day she will find out that she's too good for him, way, way too good for him.

**Alright guys so this is my new story this was kind of like prologue the chapters will be a little longer than this and I need guys to review and no I am not done with 3 quarters it's just this idea came to me and I couldn't just let it go so yeah. So review and tell me what you think about it Please don't make me beg.**

**~Jessica~ EdwardMasenluver4ever**


	2. If Your Not The One

**Gallery**

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today  
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way  
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my calls  
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all  
I don't know what the future brings, but I know your here with me now  
We'll make it through and I hope you are the one I share my life with

Chorus  
I don't want to run away but I can't take it I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed  
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head  
If you're not for me then why does this distance name my life  
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife  
I don't know why you're so far away but I know this much is true  
We'll make it through and I hope you are the one I share my life with  
And I wish that you could be the one I die with  
And I pray that you're the one I build my home with I hope I love you all my life

If you're not the one – Daniel Beddingfield

* * *

Edward POV

Tick, Tick, Tick, I heard rocks being thrown at my window but didn't think too much of it and rolled over in my bed.

Tick, Tick, Tick, Ugh I groggily got out of my warm bed and opened the window to let the frigid cold air in, "_Edward! Down here."_

I looked down and saw Bella with a really heavy coat and those Ugg boots on I backed away closed my window and put on a shirt my pea coat, Jeans and shoes, yes I only sleep in my boxers in 30 degree weather. I walked down my stairs and went through my front door wear I almost ran into Bella, " Hey Edward, what's up?" she asked like it's most normal thing in the world to show up at my front door at 3'oclock in the morning when there is school tomorrow. It happened a couple of time when we were 13 when she started having night terrors after her and her, Brother got in a car accident, They both lived of course so that's good but she was always haunted by that.

"Hey, Bella. What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well I just wanted to see you. I haven't seen you around school lately, where have you been?"

"I've been around; you know our classes are like really far away from each other."

"Yeah I know, but when I come here after school Alice always says you're not here and that's like every day."

"Yeah well you know football practice." I'm on the football team with Jacob, Emmett, Jasper and Logan Bella's older brother by like a year.

"Oh, right, well we can hang out now right? Unless you're tired," Her big doe like eyes were pleading with me to say yes, and I couldn't say no to her if she gave me that look and she knew it, so I just nodded my head, she squealed and I laughed a little, She really needs to stop hanging out with Alice.

We started walking until we reached our secret spot, which was frozen over cause of the snow so now it was just one big ice rink, no one knew about it but us and that was nice to know.

"Let's skate," Bella said looking around her cheeks had a slight tint of pink from the cold and you could the breath's she let out.

"Bella, are you crazy? 1st of all we have no skates, 2nd of all you are uncoordinated on a flat surface let alone ice." It was true she can't walk down the hall to her class room without tripping at least 3 times, "No we are not skating." I said finally.

"Oh come on Ed don't be such a party pooper. 1st of all we do have skates," She bought 2 pairs of skates from behind her back, "And for the 2nd one you'll be here to catch me if I fall." She gave me _the _look again.

"Alright, Alright Bella we will skate give me them." She smiled and handed me the black one and put the white ones on. After she put them on I stepped out on the ice and held out my hand for her to take, she hesitated, "Come on Bells you wanted to do this remember?" I told her.

She took my hand and, hesitantly put one foot on the ice, and when she put the other foot on and almost slipped she gripped on my arm for dear life, and I still felt the shock that I always feel when she touches me or vice-versa, it was kind of hard skating like this which made us fall on our buts a lot and laughing our asses off.

When we finished skating we plopped down on the ice and lay down, I know that's stupid but we were too tired to go anywhere else. I looked at her and she looked thoughtful just staring at the sky.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, staring straight at her, she looks at me and smiles holding my gaze.

"I'm thinking about how much I miss this, how much I missed hanging out with you, I missed you Edward." She says.

"I missed you to Bella, Let's make each other a promise, we will never go that long without talking to each other again, pinky promise?" I say holding up my pinky.

"Pinky promise," She hooks her pinky with mine and I let go of her pinky to hold her hand.

_I love you Bella._

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**Hey guys so here is another chapter um I like this chapter, I little fluff but you do find out about other characters like Logan, so yeah and did you know that if half of the people that added my story to their favorites and alerts, reviewed then I would do another update tomorrow.**

**Jessica~ EdwardMasen-Luver-4ever**


	3. Sanctuary

In you and I there's a new land Yeah  
Angels in flight  
My sanctuary, my sanctuary now  
Where fears and lies melt away  
Music will tie  
What's left of me  
What's left of me now

I watch you fast asleep  
All I fear means nothing

In you and I there's a new land Yeah  
Angels in flight  
My sanctuary, my sanctuary now  
Where fears and lies melt away  
Music will tie  
What's left of me  
What's left of me now  
My heart is a battleground

You show me how to see  
That nothing is whole and nothing is broken

In you and I there's a new land Yeah  
Angels in flight  
My sanctuary, my sanctuary now  
Where fears and lies melt away  
Music will tie  
What's left of me  
What's left of me now

-Sanctuary, Utada Hikaru

* * *

Figure's that the only class I have with Bella is the only class that she has with Jacob, and the class where they sit right in front of me writing notes to each other and giggling. And, what puts a damper on things is that Bella is making goggle eyes at Jacob while Jacob is clearly undressing the, biggest slut in the school, Lauren Mallory, with his eyes. And Bella doesn't see it, I guess love blinds people.

So just imagine sitting in a class watching the love of your life look at someone the way you look at her, like she is the most beautiful person in the world, and like you would do anything for her, hell, you would dye your hair pink for her and wouldn't dye it back it back until she told you to, because you love her more than anything else in the whole wide world and no one could ever change that.

That's how I look at her and that's the look she gives Jacob, he is so lucky to have her and he doesn't even see it.

If she was mine I would tell her I love her every day, I would be faithful to her and I would never do anything to hurt her, because it would kill me to know that I hurt her, Ugh! Life is so unfair Jacob has her but everybody knows he doesn't want her and I want her but I know I can't have her, I mean she was my first everything so far, she was my first kiss when we were playing a game of truth or dare when we were 10 and she was my first friend, my first _best_ friend and my first love, and I am pretty sure she will be my last.

_Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!_

The bell rang and we all went out of the room out to the hall, Jacob kissed Bella goodbye and went his own way, Bella then made her way over to me.

"Hey, Eddie!" a high pitch nasally voice said behind me.

"Hi, Lauren, and I thought I told you not to call me Eddie." Bella is the only one I allowed to call me Ed or Eddie, because, well because I love her, _duh_!

"Oh, right sorry Eddie," I sighed, "well I was wondering if you wanted to hang out later at my house," _slut_.

"No, Lauren I don't want to hang out at your house later, okay?" I may not be that high on the high school social scale but I am up there since I am on the football team and since I am friends with Jasper Whitlock, Emmett Swan, and Logan Swan (both Bella's Brothers) and (what the girls say,) _"The hottest guys in school! EEEEEPPPP!"_ I guess I am thrown in the hottest guys group sometimes too but it doesn't matter really.

"Oh, well whatever, Maybe I could go ask that Yorkie kid." She said, and then walked away, to go find Eric Yorkie.

"She is so slut-ish," I smiled when I heard her name and turned around to face her.

"Is slut-ish even a word?" I asked still smiling; we turn the other way heading towards the cafeteria.

"Yes it's my word and I am so tired," She leaned against me and I put my arm around her shoulders.

"Why, are you so tired?"

"Because, Alice and Rose woke me up 2 hours before I normally wake up to pick out my cloths and do my hair and make-up and, then they told me I can't eat breakfast because I would smudge my lip gloss, but I was so hungry and the lip gloss they put on was the smackers stuff and I ate it on the way to school,"

I laughed at this, she is so funny, "Well we are at the cafeteria, what do you want?"

"Um, anything really I'll eat anything right now,"

I grabbed a trey my arm still wrapped around her shoulders and filled it with food, I payed for it and walked over to the table were Bella's brothers were sitting with Rosalie Whitlock and her twin Jasper Whitlock with his girlfriend Alice (My sister,).

I set the tray down and sat down next to Bella.

"Hey, Sis," Emmett and Logan said.

"Hey, Bro's," Bella said.

"Hey, Lil'sis," Jasper said, they weren't really related but they might as well be, they knew each other since they were in there mother's womb, so they call each other Bro and sis.

"Hey Big'bro," she said around a mouth full of French fries, she really was hungry.

After a while Bella and I finished the tray of lunch I bought and her head was resting on my shoulder while talking to Emmett and Logan.

"Hey, Guy's!" Spencer Lawrence came to our table, she's a good friend of ours and sat with our

Group most of the time but sometimes she has the glee club to go to at lunch time but we hang out a lot at each other's houses every day, and she also has a huge crush on Logan, but he doesn't know it.

"Hey, Spence," we said all together.

She took the seat on the other side of Bella and started eating the fries that she knew Rosalie wouldn't eat.

"So whose house are we hanging out at today?" Rose asked.

"Um, How about our house," The Swans said, The Swan's lived like two feet away from us and there house was as hugh as ours, our houses were the two biggest houses in Forks Washington, which has an advantage.

"Um, ok well I'll see you guys there, bye." The bell rang and we all hugged and stuff and went our separate ways.

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**Authors Note: Review! Pleas it makes me Smile. **

**EdwardMasenLuver4ever~Jessica~**


	4. My Heroin

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

The drugs begin to peak  
A smile of joy arrives in me  
But sedation changes to panic and nausea  
and breathe starts to shorten  
and heartbeats feel softer  
you won't try to save me!  
You just want to break me!  
You're leaving this way!  
You taunt my heart, a sense I never knew I had.  
I can't forget, the times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth  
How do you do it?  
You're my heroin!  
You won't leave me alone!  
Tears of my heart turn to stone!  
You taunt my heart, a sense I never knew I had  
I can't forget, the times I was lost and depressed from the awful truth  
How do you do it?  
You're my heroin!  
I bet you laugh, at the thought of me thinking for myself. (Myself)  
I bet you believe that I'm better off with you than someone else.  
Your face arrives again, all hope I had becomes so real.  
But under your covers more torture than pleasure  
And just past your lips there mores anger than laughter  
Not now or forever will I ever change you  
I know that to go on, I'll break you my habit!  
You taunt my heart, a sense I never knew I had.  
I can't forget, the times when I was lost and depressed form the awful truth  
How do you do it?  
You're my heroin!  
I will save myself!

My Heroin, Silverstine

* * *

Ugh, I'm so mad this day couldn't have gotten any worse. First of all I had to watch the love of my life make google eyes at the love of _her_ life and then get asked out by 3 times in a row by the same girl, you would think that getting rejected one time would make her less persistent but nope she still keeps asking, and now to top it all off I have to walk home 'cause the second love of my life, my silver Volvo, is in the shop and I won't get it back until the end of the week and it's only Monday. There really was nothing wrong with my car it's just when Emmett, Logan and I wear playing with water balloons Emmett sat on the hood of my car and put a dent in it. Don't get me wrong I am not calling Emmett fat he is just really buff. Yeah.

So as I'm walking home and Bella is not you would figure she'd give me a ride or something but nope. I mean she offered but once I saw Jacob in the passenger seat of her brand knew cobalt blue porch I decided against it. I mean our houses are right next to each other but I know that she would drop Jacob off and he live's on this reservation like half an hour away from her. I mean he's not even supposed to go to this school! See how un-fair this is. I turn the corner that would lead to Bella's house and mine. So this is how it goes you turn a corner and you end up in a huge pit, in the pit are the two biggest houses in Forks, Washington my house and Bella's house.

I stopped right in the middle contemplating if I should go home or to Bella's house, We had plans to hang out after we finish our homework but I didn't know if I wanted to see her right now, what if Jacob is there I don't think I could handle that.

"Hey Cullen, stop standing there like an f-ing statue and get you ass over here," Emmett and Logan Swan yell from there bedroom window on the 3rd floor. They really didn't share a room there rooms were separate but it's connected with a bathroom.

I shake my head a little and let myself in the Swan household, all the Cullen had a key to the Swan house and all the Swans had a key to the Cullen's house.

I climbed the first set of stairs and ran into none other than Jacob Black.

"What are you doing here?" He say's in a menacing tone.

"I have more of a right to be here then you do," I say in the same tone he used. I didn't like Jacob Black and he sure as hell didn't like me. But at least I actually had a reason to hate him, but I think he just hate's me for the sake of hating me.

"What are you talking about? I am Bella's boyfriend,"

"Yes but I am her _best_ friend and I've known her longer so can you move out the way so I can go and see my good friends Emmett and Logan? I bet you can't call _them_ you friend's let alone you good friends," I taunt him.

"Of course I can I'll come with you right now."

I smirk at and continue going up the flights of stairs, while I walk past Bella's room I hear Lying is the most fun a girl can have bursting out of her ipod dock.

I walk into Emmett's room and go through the bathroom into Logan's room.

"Hey guy's," Jacob say's.

Emmett give's him his patented look, a look between a glare and a grimace, Logan give him the same look and they both say, "What are you doing here Black?"

"I came to say hi to my good friends!" He says with a big smile, I move out the way with a half smile on my face knowing what was going to happen and go to sit on Logan's beanbag chair.

Logan says something incoherent and throws his cable remote at Jacobs head as I try to contain my laughter, then Emmett says, "And don't come back!" after Jacob run's out of the room like a bat from hell.

"Wow, That was………Harsh," I say trying to contain my laughter.

"Yeah but it was funny," Logan says getting up to go get the remote. He turns the T.V on and True Blood comes on.

"You actually watch that stuff?" I ask.

"Yeah it's awesome I mean what if we were vampire's and had pasty, cold skin that would be the best," Emmett say's.

"Emmett we all are pale and you do have cold skin." Emmett's a little low on the iron so he always feel's cold and always says he's cold even if the heat is on full blast.

"Yeah well I'm not a vampire, I don't drink or cry blood," Emmett counter's.

"That really happens?" I hop up from my original spot to sit in between right next to Logan. We've always sat like this ever since we were 7. Jasper in the front then me, then Logan, then Emmett, we were organized by age. We're all the same age but jasper is younger by like a month and me Logan and Emmett were born in the same month so I guess that's cool.

"Hey Em, do you ha-," I was so lost in the show that I almost didn't recognize her voice. Almost. "Hey Edward I didn't know you were coming over." Bella says forgetting what she was going to say to Emmett.

"Yeah, I didn't think I was coming over either, both Emmett and Logan called me up here so I came. Hey are we still hanging out tonight." I asked.

I see conflict in her eyes before she says, "Yeah of course," And turning to go back to her room.

"That was weird," Emmett say's turning back to the T.V.

I say nothing and do the same; even though I know what he said was true.

"Wait, What?" Bella says around a mouthful of popcorn. After the whole Bella thing I decided to go home and get ready to hang out with Bella. We decided to see Jennifer's body, since it was a Tuesday the movie theater was totally empty, well except for mike Newton, a boy that has had a crush on Bella for like Ever and thinks the way to win her heart is to stalk her.

But now Bella was staring at the screen with so much concentration. Yes she usually yells at the screen, she thinks its fun.

"NO, don't do that she's your friend!" She yells.

This keep's going on until the movie end's, to some people it would have been annoying but to me, it was just one of the traits I loved about her.

"Come on I need to pee!" She say's, I kind of figured that since she down a king sized slurpie and a coke, through out the whole movie.

"Yeah ok let's go." I get up and sit on the bench right next to the bathrooms.

"Hey Jakey I want to see 9!" I hear a really nasally voice say.

_Don't be who I think it is, don't be who I think it is. _I chant in my head with my fingers crossed behind my back. I open my eyes to see exactly what I dreaded.

Jacob and Lauren Mallory were standing right there getting there tickets. Jacob's arm was around her waist and Lauren hand was in his back pocket. He looked at Lauren like he never, in the whole four years that I've known him, Looked at Bella, like he wanted her, like actually wanted her.

My question to him though is if he wants Lauren Why doesn't he give Bella to me? Why couldn't I get Bella and every thing would be good? Does he just like to see me in pain.

They get their drinks and their candy and popcorn and go into the theater showing 9, Just when Bella walks out of the bathroom, seeing the depressed look on my face she say's, "What's wrong?"

"Bella, did you have plans with Jacob tonight." I don't know what possessed me to ask, but there was a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach yearning for an answer.

"Um, yeah I did but I cancelled." She answered looking down.

I stood up, "Why? He's your boyfriend and you could have cancelled on me instead."

"I could have but I didn't want to, he _is_ my boyfriend, but you are my best friend, I knew you first, no matter how close he is to me, if I had to choose between him and you I'd choose my, I'd choose you. Just like I did tonight."

Alright I didn't see that one coming but I'll take it any day.

"Ok, lets just go home," I put my arm around her shoulder's and she wrapped both of her arms around my waist, if only we could stay like this forever.

We get into my car and once we get on the highway, Bella falls asleep.

I look at her sleeping form when we are at the front of her house and whisper, "I'd choose you too, I've already chosen you," before getting out of the car and carrying her to her bedroom.

* * *

**Please Review, This was a long Chapter.**


	5. I Still Love You

If we walk away now  
There's no turning around  
Gotta say what I mean  
While you're here with me  
I'm not sure I'll find words  
To cover the hurt  
That I see in your eyes  
But I gotta try

I know rocks turn to sand  
And hearts can change hands  
And you're not to blame  
When the sky fills with rain  
But if we stay or walk away  
There's one thing that's true  
I still love you  
I still love you

Can you search down inside  
Let go of your pride?  
If I forget trying to win  
and just let you in  
I didn't travel this far  
to watch it all fall apart  
so give me your hand  
and take a chance

(Repeat Chorus)

Riding with me as close as before  
Whatever happens, I won't ask for more  
Here in my heart from now 'til the end  
Flame out or fly, we have to try again

(Repeat Chorus)

If we stay or walk away  
there's one thing that's true  
I still love you  
I still love you

I still love you: Alexz Johnson

* * *

"No!" Bella shouted.

"Yes!" Alice shouted back.

"That's not even true there is no way that Stepen is cuter then Damen!" Bella yelled to Alice.

"No way Damen is not cuter Stepen is!"

This has been going on non-stop since we started watching a new episode of The Vampire diaries when Alice decided to say, "Stepen is so much dreamier then Damen."

Then that caused Bella to say, "Nuh uh, Damen is sooo much cuter and he is bad ass and mysterious which makes him even sexier," Which caused Alice to scream back that it wasn't true and Bella then had to come up with another come back. Then it kept going back and forth.

Now you would think that since the show is over they would stop arguing, but nope, they are still going at it, after…… 2 hours.

And yes I have been sitting here for 3 hours in total with Jasper, Emmett, Logan, Rosalie and _Jacob_ in the living listening to two girls going back and fourth about two guys on a TV show, but it can be worst, I meant they could be fighting about Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner.

"Bella, Babe," Jacob called to Bella who was sitting on my lap, "Why don't we go up to your room, I am kinda tired." Oh how I hated this guy.

Bella almost immediately jumped off my lap and jumped over to where Jacob was sitting, "Alright, I am kinda tired to lets go up stairs," she went around the whole room saying good night to everybody and when she got to me she leaned down and kissed me on the cheek, "'night Edward," She whispered I wrapped my arms around her waist giving her a hug before whispering, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do," She glared at me and Jacob followed her up the stairs.

"So what are we going to do now?" Alice asked.

We were all sleeping over the swan house since it was Friday and we were all really bored.

"Why don't we just get ready for bed and then watch a movie, we could make a huge bed on the floor and camp out here, Bells will miss all the fun!" Logan suggested.

This was followed by a chorus of 'cools' and 'o.k.'. Everybody got up to get ready to have our movie night. I went to one of the many bathrooms in the Swan house to take a quick shower brush my teeth and put my Pajama pants and a wife beater on.

While I was almost to the stairs I walked by the slightly cracked open door of Bella's room when I heard, "Goodnight Jacob," I opened the door a little to see that Jacob was laying down and Bella was lying down with her head on Jacob's chest, "I love you," She said so quietly and so full of emotion that I almost cried, Almost.

"Mmm, me too Bells," Jacob said in whatever voice, but Bella didn't hear it because she sighed happily and snuggled deeper in his chest.

I couldn't listen any more, I turned around and went downstairs but not before I whipped the tear that had slipped from the corner of my eye.

~*~*~*~

I was sitting in the library during free period on Monday reading one of Bella's favorite books, when my eyes got covered but something soft and smooth.

"Guess who," the person said in a fake guy voice.

"Bella, you are not very good at guy voices." I said as she laughed and went to sit next to me at the round table.

"Remember the time we went trick or treating together when we were 13, and we went as each other?" she said.

I laughed a little at the memory, I had really long hair back then, "Yeah I remember that and I am mad that you brought that up."

"Whatever" she said.

Something is wrong, "What's wrong, Bells?"

"No, Jacob told me to meet him on make out rock after school today."

Make out rock is not where people make out just for your information; it is actually where people go for their _first time_ if you catch my drift.

"Well Bella, If you know you are not ready than tell him you are not ready." I felt really awkward.

"But what if he brakes up with me?"

"Then he isn't the right person for you Bells."

She jumped up and threw her arms around my neck, "Thanks Edward you are a good friend." She whispered in my ear.

_Friend._

~*~*~*~

I was on my way to Starbucks after school when I bumped into this girl from my school.

"I am so sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going." She said. Then I actually got a good look at her, she was pretty, not as pretty as Bella, She had dirty blond hair and light blue eyes.

"It's ok, really," I said.

"Hey you are Edward Cullen right?"

"Yeah and you are?"

"My name is Claire, I am like a grade younger than you," She said. She looks nervous.

"Uh, I've always wanted to ask you out but I never build up the courage." She said looking down.

"So, um, do you want to go out sometimes?" She asked quietly, still looking down.

"Um I um don't know…" I said.

"Um, well that's ok," She said quickly, "But can I give you my number, maybe you could call me when you feel like going out."

She took a piece of paper and wrote her number on it, then handed to me, "Here, um, call anytime." Then she walked away.

I was at the entrance of Starbucks, where there was a trash can, I was about to throw the number out when I thought of something from earlier.

_She jumped up and threw her arms around my neck, "Thanks Edward you are such a good friend." She whispered in my ear._

_Friend._

Friend, She doesn't love me like i love her.

Maybe I should move on.

* * *

**Review Please.**


	6. Can't Help But Wait

I can't help but wait…  
Oh I, can't help but wait…  
Check it out

I see you, you're with him - he ain't right but you don't trip  
You stand by, while he lies - then turn right 'round and forgive  
I can't take to see your face, with those tears run down your cheeks  
But what can I do - I gotta stay true  
'cause deep down I'm still a G

And I don't wanna come between you and your man  
Even though I know I treat you better than he can

Girl I can't help but wait  
Til' you get that with him, it don't change  
Can't help but wait  
Til' you see that wit me it ain't the same  
Can't help but wait  
Til' you, see you, for what you really are  
Baby girl you are a star  
And I can't help but wait

Listen, it ain't fresh to just let him call the shots  
You're a queen, you should be, getting all that someone's got  
You should be rocking the latest in purses, bracelets, and watches, your worth  
Much more than an occasional "I love you"  
I'm thinking of you

Get it together - you can do better  
Seeing's believing  
And I see what you need so  
I'm gone play my position  
Let you catch what you've been missing  
I'm calling out, girl 'cause I can't help but wait

Can't Help But Wait- Trey Songz

* * *

_Should I?_

I lay on my couch with my phone in my hand getting ready to text, but the problem was that I didn't know what to write. It's been a couple of hours since Clair asked me out and every time I try to text her to say _yes _the same memory of that oh so faithful day goes through my mind.

**Flashback:**

_It was the day the day of Tyler Crowley's 14__th__ birthday and I was invited. I didn't want to go but my mom is making me, the only good thing about this party is that Bella is going to be there and her mom is making her go as well so we could just spend the whole night together and cuddle and kiss…ok I am getting way ahead of myself._

_I put the shirt that I've been holding in my hand on, and went down the stairs talking them two at a time. I went in the cupboard and pulled out a granola bar._

_I got my jacket and ran out of the house yelling a goodbye to my mom and dad. I ran to Bella's house and let myself in._

"_Why hello there Edward, how are you this morning?" Charlie (Bella's dad) said with a mug of coffee in his hand._

"_I'm fine are Bella, Logan and Emmett ready yet?"_

"_Yeah we are," I heard Logan scream from the top of the spiraling stairs, "But Bells is being stupid right now, Alice is making her wear a skirt and she won't get out of her room."_

_I laughed a little and ran up the stairs to her bedroom I knocked on her door and heard a muffled 'come in'._

_I walked in and saw Bella sitting on her bed with a pink frilly skirt that looks nothing like what Bella Swan would wear._

"_Hey Edward," She said._

"_Hey B, what's up?"_

"_I don't want to wear this skirt that Alice is making me wear."_

"_Then don't."_

"_It's not that easy you obviously never faced the wrath of evil pixie." _

"_Oh yes I have, but it's not hat scary when you get used to it, I will take the blame. Just put on a pair of jeans or something."_

_She smiled up at me and got up to change._

_~*~*~_

_Bella's dad dropped us off at the party after we finished our homework from school that day. _

_Bella and I walked into the big house and placed our gift on the present table we went in the living room where the party was being held and got cups of punch._

"_I really don't want to be here," Bella said cowering into my side._

"_Me neither."_

_A couple of hours into the party we heard Mike go up on the microphone and announce, "'K everybody I want you guys to get in a big circle in the middle of the living room!"_

_I looked at Bella to see that she was looking at me and we walked to the middle of the living room._

"_So this is what we're going to do, we're playing Spin the bottle, I know you probably know how this game works already but here are the instructions. We will go around the circle and take turns spinning the bottle whoever the head of the bottle lands on you have to kiss them on the lips." Mike said loudly from the middle of the circle._

_Bella stiffened next to me she didn't want any boy in this circle to be her first kiss._

_Mike took the bottle and I watched as it went around landing on Lauren Mallory._

_The game went on and there was a couple of hilarious moments like when Tyler had to kiss Ben, but the it was Bella's turn to spin the bottle._

_She looked up at me with a horrified expression as she took the bottle and gave it a twist; it went around and around until it stopped._

_On me._

_She turned to look at me, and when everyone saw that neither of us were moving they started chanting, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"_

_I was literally doing a happy dance in my head, Bella Swan; the love of my life is going to be my first kiss!_

_She turned to me and crashed her lips to mine, maybe because she knew she had to, maybe because she wanted to get people to stop their chanting but I didn't care._

_Bella Swan was my first kiss. _

**End of Flashback.**

I don't know why _this_ memory kept repeating in my head but I liked it. The years before Jacob came into her life were the best years of my life. Those were the times when I could pretend that she loved me back, as more then just a friend.

I sighed and looked at my phone my finger poised on the keys I started typing:

_**Yes I would like to go out with you. How about tonight at Sally's Diner?**_

_**-Edward**_

And pressed _SEND_.

**BPOV**

RING!

I heard my phone ring on my bed side table. I picked it up and looked at the screen to see that my friend Clair from school was calling me.

I pressed the _pick up_ button and put the phone to my ear to be met with a very Clair like squeal. I pulled the phone away from my ear and waited for the squealing to be over. When she finished I put the phone back to my ear and said, "What's up Clair?"

"EDWARD CULLEN JUST SAID YES!!!!" She screamed.

"To what?"

"After school I went to Starbucks and I ran into him, and you know how I think he is like soooooooo hot? Well I went up to him and asked him out and he just texted me like two seconds ago saying, and I quote, 'Yes I would like to go out with you. How about tonight at Sally's Diner?' and when I read it I like totally said yes! I mean who wouldn't he's Edward Freaking Cullen!"

Mind you she said all of this in one breath.

I don't know what came over me but I suddenly felt mad at Edward for saying yes.

I shook the feeling off and put on my best 'happy for you' voice and said, "That's great Clair!"

"I know right? And I was wondering do you want to come over with the girls and like help me get ready?"

"Yeah sure no problem, I'll be there in 30 minutes."

"Okay B see you. And thanks."

~*~*~

**EPOV**

At seven o'clock I was still undressed even though I had to be out of here in half an hour. Despite this being my first date I wasn't that enthusiastic about it, I always dreamt what I wanted my first date to be like and _who_ It would be with; Bella. But since that is out of the equation I guess I could settle on the next best thing.

I got up and put on a black button-up shirt and black dress pants. I played around with my hair a bit and went to my car already not liking my first date.

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**Authors Note: I know I don't deserve it but please Review!**


	7. I Knew I Loved You

Maybe it's intuition  
But some things you just don't question  
Like in your eyes  
I see my future in an instant  
and there it goes  
I think I've found my best friend  
I know that it might sound more than  
a little crazy but I believe

_[chorus:]_

I knew I loved you before I met you  
I think I dreamed you into life  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason  
only this sense of completion  
and in your eyes  
I see the missing pieces  
I'm searching for  
I think I found my way home  
I know that it might sound more than  
a little crazy but I believe

_[repeat chorus]_

A thousand angels dance around you  
I am complete now that I found you

**I Knew I Loved You by Savage Garden**

**(My Favorite song in the whole world.)**

* * *

I drove to Clair's house slower than normal dreading the moment I had to go up her front steps and ring the doorbell. I looked at the dashboard clock to see I was 3 minutes away from being late. I stopped at a red light and looked around I stopped when I looked at a house where I saw a guy In front of some girl on her porch they seemed to be arguing. The girl turned on the porch light and I got a good look at the people, it was Jacob and Jessica and just when the light turned green she jumped on him and they started making out.

I swallowed back a gag and continued driving wondering why I didn't just tell Bella that Jacob was cheating on her instead of living in a life of secrets I thought some more and just before I turned on to the street of Clair's house I found my answer; I didn't want to ruin our friendship. If I told her and she took it well she would most likely brake up with Jacob her dad would be mad because he is best friends with Jacob's dad and their friendship between him and Billy would break apart because of me, and after she breaks up with Jacob I would feel obligated to tell her that I was in love with her and she defiantly won't take well to that because she just broke up with Jacob and she would think I was taking advantage of her even though that's not the case it still wouldn't play out well.

If I told her and she didn't take it well then you already know that won't go out well I sighed in frustration and went up Clair's walkway to her front door she opened the door after the first bell (eager much?) and smiled widely at me, "Hi, Edward!"

"Hi Clair, you ready?" I looked down and saw that she was wearing a faded jeans and a pink tight fitted shirt that sad 'Bite Me' on it, "Yeah let me go get my jacket." She came back after a minute turning to lock the door we walked to my car and I opened the passenger door for her out of pure habit. She said thank you and blushed but it wasn't as appealing as Bella's blush. I said you're welcome and walked around the front of the car and into the driver seat. I started and the car and made sure that Clair had her seatbelt on before going off to the diner.

"So how's life going," I ask trying to make small talk.

"Life is fine, I guess." She said this with a small smile on her lips.

"Hey let's play a game of 20 questions so I could get to know you better, cool?" I asked.

"Yeah you go first." We arrived at the diner and I stepped out of the car opening the door for her and walking to the door also opening that door for her too.

We went in and got a seat in the back she sat down in the booth and I sat across from her, "Ok so, what's your favorite color."

"Um yellow,"

"Yellow? Why yellow?" I asked as the waiter came and put the menus in front of us and asked us if we wanted anything to drink. I asked for a coke and she asked for water. When he walked away she answered, "Because yellow stands out."

"Oh, ok what's your favorite book?" I asked.

"You know I've only read one book cover to cover in my whole life. To me reading is a waste of time." She said taking a sip of the water the waiter just put on the table he asked us if we made up our minds on what we wanted to eat. I picked the first thing that popped in my head which was a hamburger and French fries while Clair ordered a salad.

He wrote down our orders and took our menus then walked away, "You've only read one book cover to cover? What book was that?" I said looking at the table tracing random patterns on it.

"Cat in the hat by Dr. Seuss." She said unfazed.

I looked at her and almost laughed but kept it inside of me, "Really when?" I said.

"This summer it was really good I mean that guy is a genius." She replied.

The waiter came with our food and placed it on the table for us. I took the bottle of ketchup and placed it on my burger and fries.

"How are you eating that?" Clair asked.

"Like this," I said confused as I ate a French fry.

"Eww do you know how much fat and calories are in those?" she looked like she was about to throw up.

"Um no?" I said.

_I want to stand with you on a mountain.  
I want to bathe with you in the sea.  
I want to lay like this forever.  
Until the sky falls down on me._

She was about to say something else when I heard my phone ring. I took it out of my pocket and looked at the caller ID to see that it was Bella calling me, I should have known by the ringtone, Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden, but I really wasn't paying any attention to that.

I picked up the call and said, "Hello?" I knew it was rude to Clair but this is Bella we're talking about here.

"Hey Edward," Her voice sounded as if she had a cold and that was weird because Bella never gets sick and when she does you should be scared.

"Hey," I said, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing it's just I'm not feeling well and my mom and Esme went to this thing in Port Angeles and our dads went with them and they won't be back till tomorrow and Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Logan, and Spencer all went out together and Jacob is over his Grandmas house and I know your busy but," She coughed, "I need you."

Those words made my heart soar in false hope but I could dream right?

"Yeah, That's ok I'll be there in half an hour ok? Drink some cold medicine." She said ok and hung up.

I stood, "Um, Clair I have to go, I'm sorry to cut this short." She looked at me probably waiting for more information but I wasn't going to give and right now.

She stood too and I left a 50 dollar bill on the table and almost ran from the diner. I didn't even bother to open the door for Clair so I just went straight to the driver seat, put my seat belt on and started the car. I drove to Clair's house and said sorry a couple of times and threw in an 'I had a great time tonight' and went to the pharmacy. I got some more chough medicine and cough drops before paying for them and running back out.

I reached Bella's house in less than 10 minutes and let myself into her house and bedroom.

When I saw her she looked so pale and frail. Her hair was in a messy bun but she still looked beautiful. She was wrapped in one of those Snuggie things that I bought her for Christmas last year, and she was watching TV. I heard her cough and then I walked to where she was sitting on her bed.

"Hey Bells." I said putting the bag of medicine on her bed side table.

She looked up at me and smiled, "Hey Edward," I sat down next to her on the bed and said, "How you feeling."

To which she replied, "Bad."

"I brought so cough medicine. Did you take it when I told you to?" I asked softly.

"No, I didn't want to get up, sorry." She said with a little pout that melted me inside.

I took it out of the bag, "First of all do you have a thermometer?"

"Yeah in the bathroom,"

"Be right back," I got up and went into the bathroom I looked in the medicine cabinet and took out the thermometer. I went back to Bella and told her to open her mouth.

"You have a temperature of 104, Bells."

"I know." She said looking up at me.

"It's ok I will be your doctor until your better." I gave her some chough medicine and told her it might make her drowsy. I turned out the lights in the room the only source of light was the TV. I lay down next to her on the bed her head resting on my chest.

"Thank you Edward for everything." She said quietly.

"No problem Bella, I'd do anything for you."

"I love you, Eddy."

"I love you too."

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**What was your favorite part, line? I would really like to know. **

**Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!**


	8. Told You So

**The song of the Chapter is Told You So by Jessie McCartney**

BPOV

I woke up to Edward's snores from beside me. At first I was delirious and couldn't, for the life of me, remember why he was here. But the images from last night clouded my mind.

Edward… sick… call… Clair.

Oh fizzy doodles, I remembered now. I pretended to be sick to get Edward to leave Clair and stay with me. I know, it was selfish but I couldn't just let him be on a date with a ditz like Clair. Yes, she was my friend but I would rather jump off a cliff 10 times then see Edward with Clair. I didn't know but I felt weird and almost … I don't know… Jealous.

No that wasn't it I wasn't jealous of _Clair, _I was in love with Jacob, and he loved me. This feeling was all in my head. Maybe I am getting sick.

I turned around in my bed and felt something tighten around my waist. I looked down to see Edward's arms crushing me to his chest, literally. But what scared me more was that I was loving this. I loved feeling his arms around me and I wished he would never let go. But I can't be feeling these feelings, he's my best friend and I have a boyfriend, whom I love.

_I love Jacob._ I thought to myself as I snuggled closer into _Edwards_ embrace, but I could take advantage of this for a little longer.

EPOV

I woke up to the smell of strawberries taking over my senses, and I know I knew that scent anywhere.

_Bella._

My arms were around her waist as hers were wrapped tightly around mine. Her face was buried in my chest and my face was in her hair. The position was slightly intimate for friends but I couldn't have cared less.

I took advantage of the situation, inhaling the smell of her strawberry shampoo, but I knew that when she woke up she wouldn't want to be in this position with _me_ but I don't think she would have minded if it was Jacob.

I tried to navigate my way out of her grasp but I felt her arms tighten around my waist as she groaned and my name slip through her lips. I smiled happy that I didn't have to move just yet. I tightened my grip on her waist, loving the way her body seemed to melt in my arms, and breathed in her scent one more time before falling into a dreamless sleep.

~*~*~*~

I woke up again about an hour later. I felt Bella stir next to me and I knew that it was just a matter of time before she woke up. So I got up from the bed, easily slipping from her arms this time, and walked towards her door. I then realized that it was seven o'clock and that everybody was probably awake.

I turned around and walked towards her window and easily slipped the window open wide enough to fit my form through. I stepped out on the roof and jumped on to a really sturdy tree branch right next to it. I grabbed on to the bark of the tree and shimmied down the rest of the way. From there I ran to my house and up the stairs to my room. Lucky for me, nobody in this house wakes up before dawn. When I reached my door I walked in and closed the door behind me I turned around to be met with Clair.

"Clair, what are you doing here? In my house? In my room?" I said watching as she got off the bed and started to advance towards me.

"You ended the date for Bella didn't you?" She asked in a soft voice looking down.

It suddenly occurred to me how rude it was to end the date for another girl. I mean I knew it was mean but I didn't think I hurt her this much.

"I'm so sorry Clair I didn't mean to hurt you, its just Bella called and said that she was sick and I had to go and comfort her. She's my best friend." I said looking her in the eye. I know I hurt her but she needed to know the truth. I at least owed her that.

"Yeah, but you love her more than just a friend am I right?" She said still looking at the ground.

"It's not like that," I didn't get to finish when she interrupted.

"But it is Edward, I've always had a crush on you, but you never paid attention to me, and now I know why. You're in love with Bella. I'm not going to lie, I've known for a while now; I just wish that you would realize that she loved Jacob and _not_ you and that you would move on." She said head still down. Her words were soft and pained. It hurt me to know that I hurt her but I also couldn't help but to agree with her, Bella loves Jacob not me.

But, "I know that she loves Jacob, and I know that her falling in love with me is a long shot, but I can't bring my self to leave her. Clair, you don't seem to understand that I love her too much to let her go. It hurts to see the person you love pine over someone who doesn't love them in return. It hurts to hear them talk about that person every day and see the love shining through their eyes when they are. But for her I'd put up with that because I love her that much. And I am hoping that one day she will realize how much of a bum Jacob is and come to me, but until that day I can't and won't stop loving her. I'm sorry Clair, for hurting you but it is what it is." I said looking right at her. I saw pain flash in her eyes, utter despair.

"I understand Edward more than you might think, because I feel the same about you. I just don't want to see you get hurt." She walked towards me, stepped on the tip of her toes and placed a kiss on my cheek, "I love you Edward, and if you ever need anyone to speak to I will always be there. I know I can't be anything that I would like to be with you but I can always be your friend." She whispered watching as I nodded my head and left the room whipping away the tears that rolled down her cheek.

~*~*~*~

**AN: That's it. I know that this doesn't seem like much but it's like a thousand and one hundred words on Word so here it is. **

**I would have updated sooner but with everything that happened in Haiti last week it was kinda hectic. I like, JUST heard from my family over there like a couple of days ago so I was really worried. All my family is okay and alive but I do know a lot of people that were affected by this Earthquake.**

**So I hope everybody is okay and can I have at least 40 REVEIWS?**

**

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**


	9. Home

I'm staring out into the night,  
trying to hide the pain.  
I'm going to the place where love  
and feeling good don't ever cost a thing.  
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,  
back to the place where I belong,  
and where your love has always been enough for me.  
I'm not running from.  
No, I think you got me all wrong.  
I don't regret this life I chose for me.  
But these places and these faces are getting old,  
so I'm going home.

Well I'm going home.

Be careful what you wish for,  
'Cause you just might get it all.  
You just might get it all,  
and then some you don't want.  
Be careful what you wish for,  
'Cause you just might get it all.  
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,  
back to the place where I belong,  
and where your love has always been enough for me.  
I'm not running from.  
No, I think you got me all wrong.  
I don't regret this life I chose for me.  
But these places and these faces are getting old.  
I said these places and these faces are getting old,  
so I'm going home.  
I'm going home.

**Home by Daughtry**

**

* * *

  
**

**EPOV**

I was walking down the hall on a Friday towards my last class of the day with Alice by my side.

"So, do you know what we're doing during winter break?" I asked her. We might be in the same family but she always knows stuff before me.

"Um, I don't know I heard mom and dad talking to Charlie, Renee and Liz about going down to their hometown with them." Alice answered preoccupied with a text that Jasper sent her. By the way Elizabeth or Liz is Jaspers mom.

"Aren't they from Texas or something?" I asked.

"Tennessee, Edward." She said finally looking up at me.

"Same difference," I muttered under my breath, but that didn't stop Alice from giving me a swift whack over the head and her patented withering stare.

Honestly I was really happy to be going to Bella, Emmett, Logan, and Jaspers hometown. It would be nice to see where they grew up and all that stuff. I wonder why Bella didn't tell me.

We reached our class and I sat in my seat while Alice went to the back where her seat was located.

The teacher started droning on and on about stuff people couldn't care less about and I started to fall asleep.

_~*~*~*~*~*~_

**BPOV**

We were standing outside waiting for Edward but he never came out.

"Jake do you see him?" I asked looking around but still not finding him.

"No, hey, why don't you go look for him, babe?" Jacob said from the driver's seat of my car.

"Fine," I pushed off the car and walked into the school. I went to where I know his last class was. When I got there, what I didn't expect to find was Edward with his head down on his desk and his light snores filling the small classroom. I chuckled to myself lightly and went up to him, shaking his shoulders lightly.

"Edward? Edward wake up." I whispered into his ear hoping that he would wake so I wouldn't have to yell. But nope he didn't even move.

"Edward?" Nothing so I tried again, "EDWARD!!" I yelled this time and his head shot up and he fell out of his chair and on the floor.

"What the bloody hell was that for?" He yelled rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"Wait say that again." I said looking at him suspiciously.

"What?" He said.

"Are you doing that on purpose?" I asked.

"Doing what on purpose?" He said looking utterly confused.

"That British accent," I said, throwing my hands up in exasperation.

"What British accent?" Edward said.

"You have a really cute British accent. Scratch that I know it's kinda weird to say this to my best friend but it sounds, like, really attractive." I answered looking down so he wouldn't see my blush.

"My voice sounds is attractive?" he said, and I didn't have to look up to know he was smirking.

"Don't get a big head," I said walking out the classroom door, "Besides I said that your accent was attractive not your voice, okay?"

"But my accent is in my voice so if you love my accent then you love my voice." He said trialing me.

"Whatever," I said walking faster.

"You love me, you love me," He started chanting through the empty hall.

I stopped dead in my tracks causing him to bump into my back, "Hold it there buddy, I never said I loved you," I said turning around to face him.

"But my little sweet, naïve Isabella, you don't have to say anything its all in your eyes," He said taking a step towards me. I took a step back, "Besides why is it so bad to love me?" He took another step towards me while I took another step back, "Aww look at you Bella you are so in love with me." He took another step forward and smirked, I realized why when my back hit a wall of lockers and his hands took my wrist pinning them on the lockers as well.

"Edward what are you doing?" I asked. My heart was beating so hard and I knew that it wasn't out of fright because Edward would never hurt me. But if it wasn't that then what was it?

"Shh, Bella stop fighting it, you know you love me." He whispered in my ear. I involuntarily shivered, and Edward chuckled pushing away from me.

Then he started laughing, "Edward what the hell is wrong with you?!" I said storming away from him towards the doors. I heard him running behind me, "Bella? Bella come on you can't really be mad at me I was just playing with you." He said grabbing my wrist causing me to stop walking.

"Well I didn't like it," I said not meeting his eyes. He turned my body around and put a finger under my chin tilting my head up, "Bella I am sorry that I made you feel uncomfortable but you have to admit it was funny." He said laughing a little, but luckily when he saw the look I gave him he stopped laughing.

"Bella you know I would never hurt you, you're my best friend and I am really, very sorry." I guess he saw the forgiveness in my eyes because he pulled me into his arms with a hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist and let him lead me to my car.

"So my accent is sexy?" he asked causing me to hit him on his chest and him to laugh.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**EPOV**

Bella was in my room "helping" me pack. Well at least that's what she told her parents but what she was really doing was laying down on my bed listening to my iPod and criticizing me every two minuets for "Not fixing my cloths correctly".

"So where are we going to be staying?" I asked her.

"Um, well you and your parents will be staying at my old house and Alice will be staying at Jasper's and Rose's." She said not taking her eyes off of the screen of the iPod.

"So we're going to be all alone in your bedroom?" I said waggling my eyebrows at her.

She gave me the "look" and said, "You could always sleep on the couch I have no problem with that, Edward."

Since the whole thing that happened yesterday by the lockers I've had more confidence about telling her my feelings for her. I felt the way her heart was beating in her chest when she was pushed against the lockers, and the way she shivered when I whispered in her ear. If she didn't feel for me the way I felt for her than why was her body reacting to mine that way.

"I'm sorry Bella I will be good." I said, "Now can you help me pack, please?" She got up from the bed with a sigh mumbling something about disturbing her resting time and helped me for the next 2 hours getting my toiletries a couple of outfits and some other stuff, cell phone, iPod, and Nintendo D.S. When we were done we plopped down my bed and watched Last Holiday until we fell asleep.

~*~*~*~*~

We woke up early the next morning in order to make the first flight on time. Bella sat next to me on the plane we talked and fought over those Biscoff cookies that they offered us. We got to Tennessee at 12 o'clock and reached Bella's house at 12:30.

We walked in and I looked around. This house was probably 2 times bigger than her home back a Forks. Once you walked in there was a rounded staircase. If you turned to the left you could see the gourmet kitchen where I knew Renee and Esme would spend most of their time. Over to the right there was a huge family room with a fire place, cozy looking furniture and a huge flat screen T.V above the fireplace.

"Wow," I whispered.

"I know. You want a tour?" Bella said looking up at me smiling.

"Sure," I said as I followed her into the family room she pointed out some stuff and I laughed when I saw some baby pictures of her, Logan and Emmett hanging all over the place. She showed me the formal living room and the kitchen then she showed me the backyard. Her backyard was HUGE and that was an understatement, it had a pool, a really big pool at that, and there was a patio area with a grill and everything that you would need for a cookout.

"You like?" Bella asked form beside me. I nodded my head too preoccupied with the setting to do anything but. "Wait till you see upstairs." She said leading me up the stairs and into Emmett's room, Logan's room, the guest bathrooms and bedroom, her parent's room and lastly her room. Her room had a bright orange color scheme. Her walls were orange, her bed covers were orange and from what I could see her connected bathroom was orange as well.

"Favorite color orange?" I asked looking down at her.

"No actually my favorite color is green but it used to be orange." She said dropping her bag on her bed, "You should get ready we're going to have a cookout in about 2 hours so go take a shower, and make it quick!" she yelled at me walking out her bedroom leaving me alone.

~* ~*~*~*~*~

After I was finished taking a shower and getting dressed I went downstairs to see everybody was outside on the patio. My dad, Jaspers dad (Michael), and Charlie were starting up the grill and Bella was sitting by the pool with Rose and Alice sitting besides her. They were all wearing similar outfits, a bikini top and jean shorts, and their feet were dangling in the water. Jasper, Logan, and Emmett were on the front yard playing football and my mom, Liz, and Renee were in the kitchen cooking.

I went onto the front lawn and said, "Ready for a competition guys."

"Come on Cullen you cant beat us!" Emmett challenged.

"Fine me and Edward verses you and Logan Em." Jasper said smiling.

I walked down the stone steps and we started playing we played until our moms called us in to eat. Jasper and I ended up winning and Logan and Emmett ended up moping.

We went in the back yard and took plates so we could fill them with food. I got 2 hotdogs a cheeseburger and potato salad and so did the rest of the guys. When I was done I went to go sit next to Bella by the pool.

"Whatcha doin'?" I said taking a bite of my food.

"Just thinking." She said staring up at the moon.

"'Bout what."

"Nothing." She said looking down and playing with her hands.

"Come on Bella tell me," I urged putting my food down.

"It's nothing Edward." She said getting up and going into the house.

I got up and started to go after her when Logan stopped me, "What's up with her?" He asked looking at the closed patio door.

"I don't know but I'm going to find out." I continued walking into the house and up the stairs. When I didn't fid her in her room or any where else I went back downstairs and asked Emmett if she knew where she would be. He asked if I checked the tree house on the front lawn and I said no. I went to the front lawn and climbed the steps up the tree and into the tree house where I found her sitting with her back towards me staring out the little square window.

"Hey, Bells what's up?" I asked walking towards her and sitting down beside her.

"I don't know it's just, when I was down there I started thinking about how everyone had someone here. Alice has Jasper, Emmett has Rosalie, my mom has my dad, your mom has your dad, Jasper's mom has Jasper's dad, and you have Clair. But it's like /Jacob doesn't even have time for me anymore. He's always with his Grandma or mom, or just busy. And I know I'm being selfish because his grandma is sick, but," She looks up meeting my gaze, "I just want someone to be there for me."

"I'll be here for you, I'm always here for you," I whispered unconsciously leaning towards her. I was so lost in her eyes I didn't notice her leaning towards me too, until our lips touched.

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**EEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! So That's it. Please Review!!!!!**

**TELL ME YOUR FAVORITE PART!!!!!  
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	10. Temporary Insanity

What just happened?  
Did you kiss me?  
Cause that's a place we've never been until now

and I don't know how it's gonna be after this  
Do we pretend these feelings don't exist at all  
or do we fall?

My confusion shows whenever you get so close  
I stumble, I stutter, forget what to say  
I'm nervous, I wonder why I'm acting this way

It's temporary insanity  
What's going on with you and me?  
Is it real or is it fantasy?  
Forever or just temporary?

Was it all a big mistake?  
And if it was, it's much too late to undo  
and I don't really want to

its temporary insanity  
what's going on with you and me?  
Is it real or is it fantasy?  
Forever or just temporary?  
**Temporary Insanity by Alexz Johnson**

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The electric spark that went through my body when his lips touched mine was so different from what I ever experienced with Jacob. With Jacob his lips were rough and hard but this kiss, Edwards kiss, was the total opposite. It was soft and sweet and almost loving. The way his lips caressed mine was otherworldly. I lifted my arms, resting one on his shoulder and the other cupping the back of his neck. I leaned on to my knees as his strong arms wrapped around my waist. A voice in the back of my mind kept telling me that this was wrong, that I shouldn't be feeling these things with my best friend and that I had a boyfriend but I didn't care right now. All I felt, all I heard was Edward and nothing else.

I let him deepen the kiss and felt his arms move down to my hips as I pushed him down to the hard wooden planks of the old tree house. His fingers played with the exposed skin where my shirt didn't quite reach my pants, and the spark that was only on part of me became omnipresent. I wound both my hands into his hair tugging on it lightly, I heard a soft moan escape his lips and I pulled on his hair again wanting to hear that beautiful sound again.

He bit my lip lightly and I moaned softly, then he pulled back and mumbled my name. I don't know why but I didn't realize, until then, how beautiful my name sounded when it came out of his lips.

"Edward," I sighed and slowly, reluctantly, got off from on top of him. I sat down, bringing my knees up to my chest and running a hand through my, now unruly, hair rerunning the situation through my head.

"Edward I'm sorry that was," I struggled to find the right words, and even as I said them I knew they weren't the ones I was searching for, "a mistake, I'm sorry."

I couldn't bare to look at his face so I got up and crawled to the small exit. When my feet touched the ground I started to walk away, but I heard Edward following me.

"Wait Bella," I heard him shout from the bottom of the steps, "You can't say that you didn't feel anything up there, Bella you cant say that you didn't feel a connection or a spark."

I clap of thunder followed by a flash of lightning colored the sky. I felt a drop of rain fall on my face, running down my cheek like a tear. I knew I couldn't tell him the truth, that I _had_ felt a spark that I never felt with Jacob, but I didn't know what it meant or how I felt about it, so I lied, "No, Edward I didn't feel anything. I was just sad and you were the only one there so I used you, Ok? I'm sorry."

It started to down pour on us and the cold water soaked us to the bone.

Edward started to walk towards me; he stopped about a foot away. I was glad that it started to rain so he wouldn't see the tears falling out from my eyes. I knew I was hurting him, though I didn't know why, but I couldn't be feeling these things with him. Feelings that I never knew I had have been opening up within me lately, they scared me and I didn't know what they were, they were foreign to me.

Edwards breathing was hard, ragged, and uneven, "You did feel it Bella you're just hiding from it. You're not letting yourself feel it because you're scared." It was scary really how Edward seemed to be able to read my mind, like we _did_ have a connection, but it's probably because we've known each other so long.

"Edward, I'm tired, confused and tired right now could I just go to bed?" I whined wanting to be in my warm bed, and not think for a while.

He looked frustrated and I was mad that it was my fault, "Fine just, whatever." He walked past me and into the house.

I stood out in the cold rain for a while, staring at where he was just standing, until I started walking to the porch and up the steps, thinking that this was going to be a lonely winter break without my best friend.

~*~*~*~*~

I woke up early the next morning in the warmth of my old bed. Edward wasn't in my bedroom, I mean he wasn't obligated to be in my bedroom and its not like I couldn't sleep without him there, it was just an unsaid agreement that he would sleep in my room. He's probably still mad at me. I got up, brushed my teeth and my hair. When I walked down stairs I saw a familiar tuff of bronze hair stick out from under the covers. So that where Edward was, I was mad at myself for letting him sleep on that uncomfortable couch. I walked into the kitchen where I saw my mom, Esme and Liz standing around making a breakfast buffet.

"Morning," I said around a yawn. I went around kissing the adults on the cheek.

"Sweetie you look so tired," My mom said holding me in arms length by my shoulders.

"I'm fine mom," I insisted, I got 2 cups out of the cupboard and walked to the refrigerator filling them half way with OJ. I downed one of the cups and went into the living room where Edward was sleeping.

I shook him a little, waking him up. He groaned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes with his hand.

"Hey, Edward sup," I said hoping he wouldn't still be mad at me.

He grunted and looked at me like he was expecting something.

"I brought you orange juice," I said avoiding his gaze. I couldn't look at him right now.

"Thanks," He said taking the orange juice out of my hand. He got off the couch and went up the stairs with the juice. I heard a door shut and knew he went in to the bathroom.

I sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh. Why did I have to mess everything up? I laid down, burying my head in Edwards's pillow. His sweet scent assaulted my noise; it was the best smell I've ever smelled!

I heard footsteps on the stairs; I shot right up and walked towards Edward, stepping in front of him.

"So you brushed your teeth," I asked looking down.

"Yeah," he said awkwardly.

"So you hungry?" I asked looking up to see he was looking down.

"Um, yeah," He went around me and into the kitchen. I sighed heavily again and followed him.

~*~*~*~*~

Edward ignored me all through breakfast. While everyone was making conversation and laughing, Edward and I were the only quiet ones. We just stared at our food eating silently. You see this is what happens when you kiss your best friend and like it. I found myself not even thinking about Jacob, all I was thinking about was Edward, his lips on mine, his skin on my skin, all my thought were surrounded by him.

When he was done with his breakfast he went straight upstairs mumbling a thank you to the parents. I stared after him for a while until I followed him upstairs, and into my bedroom.

"Okay what's up Edward could you talk to me?" I asked looking at him.

"How could I talk to you Bella? I don't want to talk to you right now. So please leave me alone." he said turning his back to me.

"Leave you alone? I not going to leave you alone Edward this is _my _room," I said.

"Fine," He turned around and attempted to get out of my room, but I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back in. I turned around and locked the door.

"You are not leaving until we talk; tell me what you want from me Edward. Why are you being so cold?" I asked almost desperately.

"You want to know what I want Bella?" He waited for my nod until continuing, "I want to know why you've wasted the last two years of your life with that jackass they call Jacob. He's a jerk Bella and he's not good enough for you. Your closing yourself off and your diluting yourself into thinking your in love with him when your really not. Bella I'm pretty sure that you don't even know what love is-,"

I cut him off, "I do know what love is Edward,"

"No, Bella, you don't," He took a step towards me, "If you did you wouldn't have ran away from it last night," He said taking another step towards me, "You really _are_ naive Bella, your not in love with Jacob."

He then proceeded to grab my chin and crashed his lips to mine and I let him. This kiss was different from last night, this one was urgent and desperate, as if he was trying to send a message through it that I couldn't get.

I wrapped my arms around his neck just like I did last night. I tangled my hands in his hair, pushing closer to me. I could feel every part of him on every part of me and I was loving it.

He wrapped his arms around my wait and lifted me up lightly; I wrapped my legs around his torso as he carried me to my bed. He hovered on top of me place feather light kiss down my jaw and neck. I felt tears prick behind my eyes and I knew he was wrong.

"Edward I can't do this." I said pushing him off of me and getting up. I ran a hand through my hair and got up leaving Edward there behind me.

Edward was wrong I did know what love was, and I was in love with Jacob.

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**OK, you could totally flame me for this chapter, it's not one of my favorites but it was needed to continue the story.**

**Review Please???**


	11. Love Song Requiem

"Why won't you go with me?" I asked from my spot on Bella's bed. We just came home for church and Bella was getting out of her church clothes and I was trying to get her to do something with me, but she wouldn't do it. After the whole kiss debacle we sort of silently agreed to forget that it ever happened.

"Because it's stupid and immature and I don't do stuff like that." She answered walking into her bathroom to wash off the little makeup that she had on.

"But Bella, being stupid and immature is good for your health, sometimes." I said getting up and leaning on the door frame of her bathroom.

"Yeah but it could also _not _beneficial to your health so I'm not going to do that Edward. What if something bad happens and on of us dies?" She said looking at me.

"Bella nothing is going to happen!! I'll be right next to you and we can even go together if you want to. If you just come with me I swear to you Bella that everything will be great." I pleaded trying to get her to agree. On our way from church we passed a beach that had a cliff pretty high up, but I remembered that they had these things in Washington and people jumped off of them, they called it Cliff diving and I always wanted to try it but Bella thought it was to scary.

She went past me and sat on the edge of her bed looking down. I went over and kneeled in front of her, "Bella, do you trust me?" I asked her.

She looked up at me and our gazes connected. Then she whispered, "Yes,"

I stood and held my hand out in front of me for her to take, "Then come with me."

~*~*~*~*~

"I can't believe that I let you talk me into this!" She said. We were on top of the tallest cliff and her hair was getting blown all over the place by the wind.

"Bella," I held out my hand and she took it, "Ready?"

She looked forward and nodded her head, "Okay, 1…"

"2…"

"3..." and then we jumped and we were free falling and Bella was screaming but it wasn't because she was scared, she was having fun. We crashed into the water and swam up to the surface a couple of seconds later gasping for breath. I turned to Bella, her skin was flushed and her teeth were chattering from the cold but she was smiling.

"Told you, you'd have fun!" I yelled over the current.

"I should listen to you more often!" She answered, smiling wider.

~*~*~*~*~

I sat on the bench in front of the black grand piano in the living room. No one was in the house because they all went out to dinner after Bella and I came back from cliff diving. I feigned a stomach ache to get out of going so I could stay here. My finger's were poised over the black and white keys but the weren't doing anything. It's been so long since I played the piano and I didn't know what to do so, I just put my hand down on the keys and started playing one of my favorite songs:

_I believe we'll find a better place to fall asleep  
She belongs to fairy tales that I could never be  
The future haunts with memories that I will never have  
And hope Is just a stranger wandering how it's got so bad_

I closed my eyes and pictures of Bella flew through my head from the times where we met to now.

_I die each time you look away  
My heart, my life will never be the same  
This love will take my everything  
One breath, one touch will be the end of me_

_You could be the final straw that brings me back to earth  
Ever-waiting airports full of the love that you deserve  
Wishing I could find a way to wash away the past  
Knowing that my heart will break, but at least the pain will last_

_I die each time you look away  
My heart, my life will never be the same  
This love will take my everything  
One breath, one touch will be the end of me_

I heard someone gasp and turned around to meet the teary eyes of Esme.

"Hi, mom," I said suddenly feeling self-conscious. My mom knew I could play but I never actually let her hear me play before, so I think she was surprised.

"You love her don't you?" She turned around and closed the pocket doors of the living room. She walked towards me and sat on the bench next to me.

"What?" I asked knowing what she was talking about but want to know if _she_ knew what she was talking about.

"Bella, you love Bella don't you?" She asked, "I don't know why I never realized it before. The way you look at her and the way you could never stop talking about her when you start. You hid it well I must say, but I should have known!"

"I'm sorry I never told you mom." I looked down at the piano playing chopsticks lightly.

"Why don't you tell _her_?" she watched me move my fingers over the keys while I played River Flows in You by Yurima.

"I will!" I insisted, but when she gave me a look I said, "Someday."

"Edward she thinks she loves Jacob, but I know she doesn't," I asked her how she knew and she said, "Because the way you look at her is not the way she looks at him."

"Well, she thinks she loves him and I can't tell her because she might not love me back-"

"And it might ruin your friend ship, I know all of this, Edward and I know how you feel because I've been through the same situation with your father."

"Really?" I stopped playing and listened to her story.

"Yes, your father and I were best friends when we were younger, just like you and Bella are. I grew up loving your father but he had a girlfriend and he thought he loved her. But I told him how I felt about him and it took him a while but, he said he loved me back. So you see Edward, I promise you everything is going to work for you guys."

She stood up and went to go out of the living room but before she left she said, "And don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

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**AN: Hey guys! Guess what, I made a banner for this story and I want you guys to see it and tell me what you think of it. Tell me in a review!!!! The Song is Love Song Requiem By Trading Yesterday just so you know. It's a really beautiful song.  
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	12. Crush

I hung up the phone tonight  
Something happened for the first time  
Deep inside It was a rush  
What a rush 'Cause the possibility  
That you would ever feel the same way  
About me It's just too much  
Just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?  
All I ever think about is you  
You got me hypnotized  
So mesmerized  
And I've just got to know

_[chorus:]_  
Do you ever think  
When you're all alone  
All that we could be?  
Where this thing could go?  
Am I crazy or falling in love?  
Is it real or just another crush?  
Do you catch a breath  
when I look at you? Are you holding back like the way I do?  
'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away  
But I know this crush ain't going  
Away  
Going away

Has it ever crossed your mind  
When we're hanging,  
Spending time, girl, are we just friends?  
Is there more?  
Is there more? (Is there more)  
See it's a chance we've gotta take  
'Cause I believe that we can make this  
Into something that'll last Last forever

**Crush, David Arculeta**

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We came back from Tennessee a while ago and Bella and Jacob have been inseparable. I don't know why but where ever you saw Bella you would just know that Jacob wasn't that far behind. Maybe she was still trying to prove to herself that she was in love with him, by spending every second of the day with him.

She didn't hang out with the group much anymore. Whenever we would hang at the Swan house she was always at Jacob's or just never came from her room because Jacob was there. So we never really saw Bella without a dog attached to her hip. Ha-ha I made a joke you get it? Dog? No? Okay whatever.

I was lying in my bed reading. Once again I was all alone in this great big house. Alice was at Jasper's house and my Parents went out with Bella's parents to some new restaurant in Port Angeles. So since I had no life I was all alone wallowing in self-pity…until the bell rang.

I looked out the window to see it was pouring outside, which wasn't uncommon in Forks but it was uncommon to hear somebody ringing your bell during a storm.

I ran down the stairs, turning the light on in the foyer when I passed the switch, I unlocked the door and pulled it open and I was met with the really wet face of none other than… Clair.

"Clair? What are you doing here?" She looked so wet and cold so I told her to come in and take her wet coat off.

"What's up?" I asked. Not to be mean or anything, but I didn't want to see her right now. Our last "date" was pretty annoying when she claimed that she read Dr. Seuss last summer.

"I-i-i-i-I," She stuttered, I sighed and ushered her into the kitchen I put a kettle of hot water on the stove while she thawed out on the island of the kitchen.

"Clair what's up?" she seemed a little more warm so I decided to repeat my question from before.

She looked sad but she was still pretty, I never doubted that for a second. She wasn't as pretty as Bella but with her cut round face and shiny blue eyes she could have been a model… if she was a lot taller.

"I-I L-i-i-e-e-d-d," She stuttered again but I caught it this time. She lied? About what?

I turned around and but the hot water into two cups and got two packets of hot cocoa putting one in each cup. I went to the cupboard and got the bag of marshmallows and went back to her at the island putting the cup in front of her and the marshmallows in the middle.

She took a sip and I said, "About what?"

She muttered a thank you and took a deep breath and said, "You r-remember on o-our date I told you I read Dr. Seuss?" I nodded. How could I forget? "Well I lied I never read Dr. Seuss not even when I was a kid. I thought it was stupid. I didn't only read one book cover to cover, I've read thousands of books cover to cover and I've loved them all! My parents have this library in the house and it's filled to the brim with books. I must've read all of them at least twice." She paused to take a breath, "and the whole calories thing with the French fries? I lied about that too. I don't give a damn about calories and I am in love with French fries. I would marry them if it were legal."

I chuckled a little at the last part, "Why'd you lie?"

"Because Rose told me too," She said and I froze, "She said the real me would bore you so I had to act like a dumb, spoiled brat."

"Why would Rose do that?" I asked and she shrugged, "Clair if anything the real you would be way more attractive to me than a dumb, spoiled brat. I mean do you ever see me talking to Lauren." I said with a smile and she laughed.

"Come on," I took my cup of hot cocoa with one hand and took her hand with my other.

"Hey I'm sorry about your chair it's all wet now." She said looking back at the chair.

"It's okay it'll dry, but you could get a cold if you stay wet." By her hand, I led her upstairs and got her a towel from the linen closet then continued down the hall and into my father's library.

She stopped at the doorway and looked around a pretty smile creeping up on her lips. Her eyes twinkled and she turned to me, "Can I go in?" I nodded slowly smiling, happy to see her look so happy over such a little thing, just like Bella would be.

My father's library was huge. It had a bunch of book shelves all around the room and in the middle there was a desk and two big comfy chairs facing a fireplace in the middle of a shelve of books. I went in after Clair started a fire in the fire place.

She was at a shelf on one of the walls and I walked up behind her, "Find anything you like?"

She shivered and said, "Yeah," she pulled a book out, Pride and Prejudice, "This is my mom's favorite," She whispered sadly.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked.

"She's sick. She has Breast Cancer." She said looking up at me and then looking down again, "But the chemo is working and she is getting better, slowly, but getting better none the less. She's been staying at the hospital and I stay with her every night, but my dad wanted to stay with her this weekend so that's why I'm not there now. And I wanted to see you, set this straight. I wanted to know that I didn't ruin everything with you."

I sighed and turned her around so I could hug her. I pulled away from her and saw that she had tears in her eyes, "You didn't ruin anything." I whispered and then I leaned in and kissed her.

**Okay I know what you're thinking, "She just came back and she's already putting up a really bad chapter." I know I suck but could you review and tell me that?**


	13. Broken

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

_[x2]_  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

**Broken by Seether**

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As I was walking on my way to school I tried to quite the inner ramblings in the pit of my stomach. I was thinking of that kiss that I gave to Clair last weekend. I shouldn't have done that every fiber of my being told me, no screamed at me to not do it. But I did anyway, because I'm stubborn and stupid. I only did it to make her feel better but I thought that maybe if I convinced myself that I was over Bella than maybe I would _really _be over her, but of course it wouldn't work out that way for me.

Truth was that i had no feelings, what so ever, for Clair. She was attractive, no doubt about that, she had a good taste in music and books too. All these things should make me attracted to her, shouldn't it? I mean she's almost perfect, the thing is, she's no Bella. Every little thing that Clair does always goes back to the things Bella does and it's, by no means, healthy to start comparing girls, even if it's just in your head.

So now I find myself in a rut. I have one girl on my arm, one I don't want, and on my heart there's a girl that I want but who doesn't want me… when did my life get so difficult.

I was on my way to the bathroom when I ran, literally, into Bella I grabbed her arm before she could fall on the floor.

"Hey what are you doing here?" I asked letting go of her arm.

"Oh nothing I was just on my way back from my locker." She answered looking down. Bella and I hadn't talked for a while now, 2 weeks, 3 days, 9 hours, and 15 minutes… not that I'm counting, but I didn't think that it would be awkward to talk to her again.

"Oh cool, I was just going to the bathroom." I said holding up my pass.

"Okay, don't let me hold your pee." She was about to walk away, so I grabbed her hand to stop her.

"No, wait. I wasn't really gonna _use_ the bathroom. French class was suffocating me." She pulled her hand out of mine and I tried not to let the hurt register on my face. I think I failed.

"So I heard you and Clair are going out now," She stated, walking slowly done the hall.

I started following after her, "Um, not… I mean I guess?" I wasn't really sure why it came out sounding like a question… but it did.

"You guess? Aren't you supposed to know these things?" she still wouldn't look at me but I tried not to let that faze me.

"Well it's not really official but, she likes me." I said not knowing what else to say.

"Do _you_ like _her_?" she, FINALLY, looked up at me when she uttered the question.

"Why?" I questioned, why would she care she has Jacob.

"Just tell me, do you like her?" she was more urgent with the question now. She really wanted to know.

"Bella…"

"You shouldn't." she said quickly and quietly.

"Why not,"

"Because, she's a… bitch," she looked down as her cheeks bloomed with that familiar red color. My eyes widened first for the fact that Bella would say something so mean about a friend and two because Isabella Swan never, ever curses.

"Why do you say that, B?" I haven't called her that since we were 12 and she smiled at the memory of those days the easy times.

"I don't know, I just don't think she's good enough for you."

I know she's not, _you _are but you don't think so do you?

"Then who is Bella?" Before she got the chance to answer the bell rang and she looked up, as if she forgot we were in school.

"I have to go, see you later Edward." She turned and left me to drown in the upcoming waves of students trying to get to class.

While I was lying on my bed my phone rang and surprise, surprise, it was Clair. I groaned and rolled onto my stomach so that I can get the phone on my bedside table.

"Hey Clair," I answered dully.

"What's wrong?" she said sympathetically.

"Nothing," I thought back to what Bella and I talked about this afternoon. This wasn't going anywhere, "Clair, whatever this thing is, I think it should end."

"What, you mean us?" She sounded as if she was close to tears.

"Was there really ever an us?" I asked.

"I don't know you tell me, you mad the first move!" she took a deep breath, "Wait, is this about Bella?"

"Clair…" I started but she cut me off.

"It is, isn't it, if you still loved her… why did you kiss me? Why'd you lead me on?"

"Clair I didn't mean to. I swear I really thought this could lead to something, but it can't, not when I'm stuck where I am. I'm so sorry Clair; I really never meant to hurt you." I replied sincerely.

"Well you know what, Edward? Screw you!" then the phone clicked and the line went dead.

"Well that was unpleasant," I muttered to myself quietly.

I sat on my bed facing the window watching the rain fall down from the sk. It was coming down really hard and loud claps of thunder rolled through the sky.

I got up and made my way to my door, and when I opened the door, Bella was standing there with tears running down her slightly pink cheeks, and she was also soaking wet, Déjà vu much?

"Bella what's-," before I got to finish my sentence her arms were wound tightly around my neck. Surprised I, instinctively, put my arms around her waist, to balance us. I tried again, "Bells, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

She didn't answer but she turned her head, burying her face in the crook of my neck. We stood there for a while, me holding on to her and her crying into my neck until she placed a kiss to the hollow beneath my ear.

"Bella…" I warned, I couldn't risk her hating me again.

"Shh," she looked up and her eyes met mine. Then she leaned in and kissed me. It was slow at first but then it built up. Her hands tangled in my hair and our tongues danced together. She started to walk forward and, in turn, it made me move back, towards my bed. When the back of my knees touched the bed, she pulled back and took off her jacket, throwing it somewhere in the room.

She looked up at me from beneath her eyelashes, "I need you, Edward."

Those four words were enough to cause me to lean down and capture her lips with my own again and as we slowly lowered ourselves onto the bed, all I could hear and smell and feel, was Bella. I realized then that Bella was it for me; there would never be anyone that would wrap me around their finger so completely. That would have me so invested in them that I would never so much as breath in the direction of another girl.

So while I was holding my weight on top of her and we were both shirtless and breathing heavy I decided to tell her that.

I reached down and started to kiss down from her jaw to the crook of her neck to her bare collar bone.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered against her neck.

I kissed lower and lower until I reached her stomach and left a sweet kiss right above her belly button.

I looked up at her through my eyelashes and saw her watching me with a small barely there smile on her lips. I had to say it, "I love you,"

She just stared at me like I had lost my marbles, "What?" she whispered.

I smiled and went back to kissing her neck, "I am so in love with you, Isabella Swan. I have been ever since I met you." I felt her skin heat up slightly, "I've always been in love with your hair, your beautiful eyes, your heart clenching smile and heart stopping personality. Everything about you invites me in and I just wanted you to know that I've wanted this for the longest time." I looked into her eyes for the whole speech, pouring my heart and soul into her slowly.

I leaned down to kiss her again but her lips seemed to be frozen, I pulled back, "Are you okay, Bells?"

She looked up at me and whispered a soft broken, "No,"

"What? No, What?" I asked confused. She pushed against me so I rolled off her. She started to get dressed fast. Putting on her bra and shirt and buckling her belt.

I got up and grabbed her hand to stop her, "Wait, B, what's going on."

She pulled away, "No, This wasn't supposed to be _that_." She said quickly running an agitated hand through her hair.

"Wait, what?" I asked.

"This was just supposed to be fun =, but you had to go and ruin it…where the fuck is my jacket?" She said looking around frantically.

"So, what you were just going to use me?" I asked quietly.

"Yes," she said still looking down.

"But, I love-,"

"No! This. Wasn't. Supposed. To. Be. That!" she finally found her jacket and then left my room, left me, all alone, again.


End file.
